Waiting for Snowflakes

When do you leave childhood and enter adulthood? November 17, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — kristinakainz @ 2:27 am

Hmmmmm, interesting question. Maybe never? Certainly not when I turned 18, or left home for school, or bought a car on my own. In many ways I’m still quite childish. I’m very selfish of people’s time. When I hang out with my mom especially, I don’t like to share her time. I don’t like to share my husband with anyone when we are on vacation. If we go somewhere, it’s for us. I don’t want to visit anyone else. I like to be taken car of. Like completely cooked for and cleaned up after, but only at my mom’s place. It’s hard to have Gabe do the dishes, I feel like I should be helping. Now you see why I don’t have kids. Anyone gives them a hug and not me, I’d be seething. Ok, not really, but I’m the jealous type. I also still feel kiddish in that I haven’t found a job yet that I feel I can be happy doing for 30 years. I’m 31, pushing even closer to 40. Shouldn’t I have found “The One” yet? I’m sure it will come, but in the mean time, I have to work hard to keep my anxiety under control in the current job, do well, and at the same time keep my eye out for “The One”. I just want to get paid more than I do and work in town, is that so much to ask?

But in most ways I have entered adulthood. I’ve lost a parent, found some biological family (though I deal with that in a childish way by not dealing, but hey, in time). I’ve watched many a friend get married, have kids, buy homes, which is so what you do when you’re an adult. I’ll happily drop money on electronics, but shy away from a $25 TJ Maxx sweater. Perhaps I have hidden budgeting skills…..somewhere……maybe?

Even though I am an adult, I still like to hang on to childish ways. Let my mommy take care of me when I do brave the western ND traffic and mosquitoes and visit, assume everyone is honest and nice, and enjoy the little things in life,like kitty snuggles and good yogurt.


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